Tuesday,
May 8th, 2012 —

lee hojuan the taco destructor

Tuesday,
November 1st, 2011 —

Lee Howon, member of Korean pop group Infinite, has often been nicknamed by the fans “Hogod” in reference to his rugged good looks, aloof personality and guns that could crack a skull in half with a noogie. It has recently surfaced that although fans thought they gave him this nickname, it was Howon himself who made the fans give it to him. Because as he revealed to us, he is actually a God.“The fans like to think they came up with it,” Howon told us as he reclined on a golden throne and fellow member Sungjong hand fed him grapes, “but the reality is…I am a God.”What Howon is the God of is debatable as the dancer refused to come out and tell us. Is he as many fans guess, the God of Dance, the God of Vacuuming or perhaps he’s just the God of Being A Sexy Hot Dance Master Bitchez. “I’d like to tell you…but then I’d have to kill you,” Hoyagod said with a chuckle before smiting a large insect that happened across his heavenly path.The other members of Infinite are of course taking this revelation in stride by bringing the God tithes, waving palm leaves in his general direction to alleviate heat and cooking him muffins whenever he fucking feels like it. “At first I was afraid, I was petrified,” said member Woohyun. Another member of Infinite, Sungyeol added “I always thought he was a God. I mean, he ate that vinegar banana!”How will the fans react to this news? Hopefully with happiness. Said Howon, “If the fans don’t like it that’s cool…I can always turn them into a statue. Or make them my personal slaves. But I think being my slave might be too much of a good thing. Peel the damn grapes next time Sungjong dammit!”

Sunday,
October 16th, 2011 —

With growing national as well as international fame, idol group Infinite recently sat down with us to discuss their lives, music and fame.
Interviewer: Hello and thanks for meeting with us! You've won a quite a few awards in the last few weeks for Paradise...how does that feel?
Sunggyu: It feels great knowing that we worked hard and are recognized for our work.
Sungyeol: Yes! We were all moved to tears.
Interviewer: Should we discuss a few things that the fans have been wanting to know?
Group: Yes!
Interviewer: The fans would like to know who the best kisser is.
Woohyun: I don't like to brag but--
Sungjong: I would have to say it's L hyung!
Myungsoo: Yes.
Sunggyu: I think that we are all good kissers because we work hard and do our best.
Interviewer: Do you shower together?
Sungyeol: I feel very nervous in the shower alone, so I like to get clean with all my members.
Dongwoo: Woohyun takes the longest showers so sometimes I have to join him just to get clean!
Hoya: Sungjong's shampoo smells nice.
Interviewer: Who tops and who bottoms?
Sunggyu: We all take turns because we are a group and a team, and with hard work we can do anything!
Myungsoo: Woohyun bottoms.
Interviewer: So, Woohyun bottoms? Is he the only one.
Woohyun: I wouldn't say I bottom, I'd say I'd--
Sungyeol: I walked in on him and Sunggyu hyung once...he was begging hyung for more like a baby.
Dongwoo: It's true.
Interviewer: Is anyone adventurous in the bedroom?
Sungjong: I like to do role play. Pilot and flight attendant, nurse and patient, priest and nun...
Sungyeol: Myungsoo likes to tie me up.
Hoya: He always leaves bruises that we have to use Woohyun's make-up to cover up.
Sunggyu: I think that we all bounce ideas off each other so that we can continue improving and getting better.
Interviewer: Okay, here's the last question. Who would you say cums the fastest?
Dongwoo: Woohyun.
Myungsoo: Woohyun.
Sungjong: Woohyun.
Sunggyu: I think that we all cum collectively as one unit.
Woohyun: I don't cum the fastest at all, I'd say that--
Sungyeol: Woohyun.

Wednesday,
September 7th, 2011 —

I should be sleeping but…

Drabble. Oh well.