Crackfic inspired by EXO’s trip to Disneyland.
I have no life.
Enjoy. 

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• Woohyun: My ideal type is any girl that likes me. All girls are my ideal type!
• Sungyeol: Dongsaengs with long hair and a smile!
• Sunggyu: Someone with big eyes. And big breasts. A girl who I can talk to.
• Dongwoo: A girl who is not afraid to walk around naked!
• Hoya: A little junk in the trunk. And in the front.
• Sungjong: Key hyung!
• Myungsoo: Someone who will obey my every wish without question. Or they will be punished.

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• HoJong - PG-13
• HoJong - PG
• HoJong/YaDong - M (crack?)
• Woohyun centric - PG-13 |ch.1|ch.2

Um, my first try at a chaptered fic. We’ll see how it goes. Or if anyone likes it lmfao.

Uh, here’s an excerpt?

He leans against the cold brick not bothering to zip up his rugged jacket that was wafting in the frigid wind. A spark of light momentarily light up his face showing hollowed eyes and gaunt cheekbones as he took a drag off his cigarette. The smoke slowly escaped his mouth, appearing for only a moment before being swept away by the cold and wind.
“There’s been another one, hasn’t there.”
The disembodied voice would have scared any other person—made them jump or look over their shoulder with fear—but he didn’t even flinch, didn’t even move. It was as though he hadn’t heard anything. 
He brought the cigarette to his lips again.
“That’s three this week. Blood drained.”
This time he rolled his shoulders as if stretching before returning to the cigarette that was almost at the end of it’s golden ember.
“You’re supposed to make sure this doesn’t happen.”
The glowing end falls to the ground before it’s snubbed out with a black boot. The man leans his head this way and that, like he has a crick in his neck. He walks about three steps before he says anything.
“I’ll take care of it.” And then he’s on his way, moving swiftly down the icy streets, face turned towards the wind.
“I hope so,” the disembodied voice intones.
And then all is silent.

So, I read a lot of trashy historical romances novels (heaving bosoms etc) and I’m afraid it has leaked into my writing. I tweeted this earlier today so that’s why the formatting is shit but…enjoy?
If people like it I might write more lmao.

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• With growing national as well as international fame, idol group Infinite recently sat down with us to discuss their lives, music and fame.
• Interviewer: Hello and thanks for meeting with us! You've won a quite a few awards in the last few weeks for Paradise...how does that feel?
• Sunggyu: It feels great knowing that we worked hard and are recognized for our work.
• Sungyeol: Yes! We were all moved to tears.
• Interviewer: Should we discuss a few things that the fans have been wanting to know?
• Group: Yes!
• Interviewer: The fans would like to know who the best kisser is.
• Woohyun: I don't like to brag but--
• Sungjong: I would have to say it's L hyung!
• Myungsoo: Yes.
• Sunggyu: I think that we are all good kissers because we work hard and do our best.
• Interviewer: Do you shower together?
• Sungyeol: I feel very nervous in the shower alone, so I like to get clean with all my members.
• Dongwoo: Woohyun takes the longest showers so sometimes I have to join him just to get clean!
• Hoya: Sungjong's shampoo smells nice.
• Interviewer: Who tops and who bottoms?
• Sunggyu: We all take turns because we are a group and a team, and with hard work we can do anything!
• Myungsoo: Woohyun bottoms.
• Interviewer: So, Woohyun bottoms? Is he the only one.
• Woohyun: I wouldn't say I bottom, I'd say I'd--
• Sungyeol: I walked in on him and Sunggyu hyung once...he was begging hyung for more like a baby.
• Dongwoo: It's true.
• Interviewer: Is anyone adventurous in the bedroom?
• Sungjong: I like to do role play. Pilot and flight attendant, nurse and patient, priest and nun...
• Sungyeol: Myungsoo likes to tie me up.
• Hoya: He always leaves bruises that we have to use Woohyun's make-up to cover up.
• Sunggyu: I think that we all bounce ideas off each other so that we can continue improving and getting better.
• Interviewer: Okay, here's the last question. Who would you say cums the fastest?
• Dongwoo: Woohyun.
• Myungsoo: Woohyun.
• Sungjong: Woohyun.
• Sunggyu: I think that we all cum collectively as one unit.
• Woohyun: I don't cum the fastest at all, I'd say that--
• Sungyeol: Woohyun.

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osamabinlatte:

when you want to touch someone really badly not sexually just kind of pet them and feed them sweets